I'm feeling pretty frustrated tonight. I have 1 client who is due August 18th, and another that has been in contact with me for months. Lets just say Im not sure if she is my client yet, as we havent met. I decided I'm not going to charge any of my clients for my 2 certifying births, but I have asked them to reimburse me for any costs that I have; gas, food, childcare, etc. This is something I'm already regretting. Even if I charged them only a fraction of the price, it still wouldn't be alot out of their pocket compared to what I could be charging. I also think that when people pay for something they cherish it and care more.
So lets talk about the first client. We've met, she's great. We were supposed to meet tonight for our second meeting to sign the contract, and go over a few things. This was a meeting she initiated, and requested. So we agreed on a date. Today, Second Cup @ 5:00. She confirmed this was great for her. So I arrived at second cup 15 minutes early to go over a few things. 5:10 rolls around. No sign of her, 5:20 rolls around, no sign of her. Finally, I left at 5:25... came home and emailed her and she had forgotten. So frustrating, because I was late for a family dinner with some special guests because of this meeting. Thats the one client. Part of me wonders if I was charging her a for sure amount would she have not forgotten because she would've cared more?
The next lady I've been in contact with for months. She was living in Fort Mac. We had discussed meeting while they were here house hunting, but she never contacted me. Its been difficult to arrange a time because she's been so busy, and we've never arranged a time. Well, now that she is here and moving in just a few days she would like to meet. Did I mention she's now 35 weeks? Full term pregnancy is 40 weeks, and this is her second pregnancy which generally is usually on time. Generally! I like to do 3 meetings with my clients before their birth. Finally after us emailing back and forth for months now I emailed her this week and said I'm feeling a little stressed with time because we have 3 meetings in 5 weeks, as well as I have to meet with another client next week! I asked her for her thoughts on the situation as I felt we werent going to have enough time. Well needless to say she wasn't happy with me after this email. She told me that her due date hasn't changed and now she needs to find another doula before her due date. I explained to her where I was coming from, and that I wanted to hear her thoughts on the situation. Basically it was chalked up to my fault. I told her we could still figure something out to make things work, and I'm willing to do that for her. Really, what I think it comes down to is yes the time crunch but also the fact that my services may cost her $100 (if that!) compared to $600-$1000 with another doula. She hasn't emailed me back.
I'm just feeling totally frustrated! Maybe if I had told people that they're going to be charged a specific amount instead of just covering expenses this might be working out better. I guess we'll wait and see what happens. I was able to get into reading my text books at second cup while I waited but not its the clients that I feel are not working out as I had hoped. Keep you posted as to what happens!
If you have any thoughts, or opinions I'd love to hear them!
4 comments:
hey karla, sorry about your clients situation. but since you asked for thoughts...
I think with regard to the first lady, all you can do is smile and schedule another appointment for her. it's frustrating, but you have already offered the free services and i think it is more important for you right now to build up a good reputation for yourself (as you know, moms TALK). it really could be that she forgot because it's something she doesn't have to pay for or maybe she really did just forget (preggo brain - you remember that, don't you?).
with the Ft. Mac lady, i also think you should have just smiled and come up with a solution yourself instead of emailing her telling her how stressed you are. could you have done with just 2 meetings instead of 3? or just have scheduled in those 3 anyway?
i just think you shouldn't feel frustrated over these women taking "advantage" of your free services seeing as how that is what you offered and that is most likely the reason they are going with you. and remember you're doing this for the experience, not to make $$... and i know i would want a doula who puts ME first and is flexible... and i don't think you should be saying what a good deal you're offering them when really THEY are helping YOU out as much as you are helping them by giving you the experience you need.
being a doula, i'd imagine a lot of unexpected things could happen. if your client went into labor prematurely and you weren't able to schedule that 3rd meeting, are you going to not be at the birth?
sorry if i'm talking out of my ass. but i think it is really important for you right now to build a good reputation more than anything... so swallow those frustrations and make room because i'm sure there will be much more to come!
With my schooling I'm attached to a yahoo group that I get a million and one emails a day with discussions. So many of these woman (fellow doulas) were outraged when I told them I'm not charging my clients before I'm certified. My trainer also had some concern as well, because often times (like I said before) we dont cherish things if we dont have to pay for them.
With my first client that forgot I totally chalk it up to pregnancy brain (however I never really had that!) but I understand it happens. Thats how life goes, but I feel like if it was really an important appointment for her she probably would've written it down, or put it in her daytimer. Rergardless, it happens I understand.
With the second woman who has only 5 weeks until she's due, obviously if we only got 2 meetings in I'd still show up at her birth. However I feel like she isnt taking responsibility for her actions and feelings. I have been honest with her that we have a short time period, but I told her I still want to be able to help her out... not that I couldnt do it and it wasn't up for discussion. But working with other doula's as well as having many friends use doula's I can tell you that if its something that a woman wants at her birth she starts looking at the beginning of her pregnancy and will search until she finds the "right" one... free or not free. I felt that this woman blamed it on me by saying "My due date hasnt changed..." however she told me that she would contact me numerous times when she came into town and that never happened. Now we have 4 weeks left (if we meet next week!) and what happens if she decides that Im not the "right" doula and we dont "click" will it be my fault she's only left with 4 weeks to find a new doula? Because that does happen, you dont always hire the first doula you meet.
And as for the monetary issue of it, yes they may be helping me out because I'm not certified yet but you dont have to have any certification to work as a doula. Jane Doe could say she's a doula and not taking any training and she isnt breaking the law. I'm giving up alot of my time with my family as well as once they are in labor and I wont be profiting one cent off of it. If Andy has to take time off work then technically we'll be loosing money for this. I dont know, I guess I have a hard time agreeing with the fact that I shouldnt be saying Im doing them a favor when really their doing me a favor. I dont think its difficult to find women who want to have a doula at their birth even if they did have to pay a small amount. I suppose I think my time is precious, especially time that is taken away from my family, wether thats with Andy & Eli or my parents. I'm busy as it is, and living off of only one income and me being off "working" but not actually bringing anything in is a strain enough.
Sheesh!! How frustrating!! Especially because you're taking time out of YOUR schedule to accommodate these women. Also, for the woman who is on her second pregnancy, she should understand that time is precious when you have kids and you don't have time to mess around and waste time! Argh, I totally understand your frustration! When are you going to be a certified doula?
Yeah it is frustrating, but I just remind myself that everyone is coming from a different situation. And I try to understand where their coming from. That isnt always easy though. Ohwell. I dont think Ill be certified in the next few months. Its basically up to me... I can go as fast as I want or as slow as I want... I'm having a hard time being motivated, but bit by bit Ill get there!! :-)
Post a Comment