Discipline

My dear son Eli who is almost 3, is really trying to push the limits. I feel like Im at my wits end. By 9:30am this morning, I felt defeated already. He has a very strong will, and I love him for it. It is exhausting though. The hardest part about disciplining him is that he turns around exactly what I say and says it back to me. If I ask him to do something and he shouts "NO!" at me, Ill reply, "Eli, please dont speak to me like that, its very rude." Well, the next time I go to say something to him, weather it be ask him not to do something, ask him to pick up his toys, etc... he replies something along the lines of "No, we dont say that, its rude."

This morning, we made banana muffins together. Ive come to enjoy baking with him, because its something we can do together. I dont remember what the issue was, but I asked him not to do something, he looked at me pointed his finger at my face and said, "No, we don say that. You are a stinky toot." Like really?? I know, go ahead and laugh because my almost 3 year old just called me a stinky toot. I sent him to his room for some quiet time, but he's also figured out that if he comes out and says sorry, generally things are okay. So he came out and said, "Sorry for making a mess." I explained to him, it wasn't the mess I was upset about, it was the way he spoke to me, and that it hurts my feelings when he calls me names. He replied, "No it doesnt hurt your feelings." So back to his room he went.

Later on, my sister was visiting and we were talking while doing a puzzle with Eli on the floor. Eli didn't like us talking and proceeded to tell us, "No guys, dont talk. That hurts my feelings when you talk." Seriously!? Really?? Its been a long morning of this back and forth attitude where he turns what I say right back on me. Then I explain to him I am the adult and he is the child, and he needs to listen to what I say because I love him and want him to be safe. Doesn't really work all that well.

He is currently down for a nap, however not asleep yet. Before his nap, he turned all the lights on in the bedrooms, and then ran into his room and slammed the door on his face. When I shut the lights off, he yelled at me "No, dont turn the lights off. You turn then back on!!!" And then tried to hold his door shut so I couldn't come in. When I did finally get in, he said to me, "You get out mommy. Get out!!" There was no story before nap time, nor was he allowed to take a car to bed as he usually does. When I caught him out of bed with the light on in his room, I then took all of the books out of his room. He yelled at me as I left, but he is now staying in bed. Its honestly exhausting! I think I need the nap/quiet time more than he does.

With that being said, I need to figure out some better discipline tools because clearly what Im doing is not working. Anyone know if any books that might be beneficial? Its hard not to laugh when he yells at me with such intent attitude, but it gets old and frustrating after awhile.

Help??