We've had a good weekend!
We finally got to try out Victory Church, the church we've been wanting to try out for quite awhile. We have some family friends that attend there, and they've had nothing but great things to say about this church! Currently Victory is doing renovations, and by the sounds of things once their done its going to be a pretty nice building for their church! Lots of work to do, but its all being done by volunteers. How cool is that, hey? The service starts at 10:30 which of course is right when Eli should be napping. We were able to put him down for 45 minutes before we left so that was good. They do have a nursery there for babies, so when you decide you want your baby to go in there they'll get the nursery working to head in. We held onto him for the whole service. By the end he was ready to go, and I had to hang out in the foyer with him.
The worship was good. Reminded me of what I'm used to. Lots of clapping which I really like! We had so many people come and introduce themselves to us, which I really appreciate! By the time we left the church I couldn't remember half the peoples names however everyone was so welcoming! I dont remember the last time I attended a church like this!! The relationships you make at church are often what keeps you coming back!
I had e-mailed the church earlier in the week just to ask about the nursery, and I had Pastor Emilie e-mail me back. During the worship she actually approached us and introduced herself and she gave me a big hug. Throughout the rest of our time there she introduced me to other women with children, and told me about their plans for the church! She also mentioned the fact that she had heard I used to help lead worship. She was very kind, and made us feel so comfortable!
They had a guest speaker this Sunday, and I ended up missing half the sermon because Eli was fussy, but we've decided we'd like to go back next Sunday and hear the regular pastor preach. I've heard that he is just a great speaker!
We came home this afternoon, had some lunch and then we all had a nap for a good hour and a half! So nice!
Andy starts school tomorrow for his plumbing apprentice. We're very excited for him to go, but its going to mean I'm going to really have to take alot of responsibility with Eli because Andy will have to be studying after school. Its only 8 weeks so just as soon as we all get into our schedule and used to our roles while he's in school, he'll be back to work! Just our luck!
Financially, both Andy and I will be on EI so its going to be tight, and we're both feeling stressed at this point. The unknown is always stressfull, but I know and trust we'll be okay!
Also, I've called the pediatricians office and have had Eli's dr. appointment moved up to Wednesday. I have a feeling I'm going to have to be very direct with his dr. because he's usually in and out pretty quick. I want to get down to Eli's congestion issues, and I keep telling myself that as his parents we have to be his advocates and stand up for him!
Hope your all having a good weekend!
Sunday, February 28, 2010
Friday, February 26, 2010
Guilt
I've come to learn over the past almost 9 months that one thing alot of moms struggle with is GUILT. Including me. If its not one thing its another. If you were to ask a few of my close mom friends they'd be able to tell you the one thing I feel the most guilt over. Not breastfeeding longer.
When you have a baby nurses, doctors, midwives, doulas, etc. tell you how important it is to breastfeed. All the pro's and barely no cons. Its easy! If you have breasts then you can breastfeed! Throughout my pregnancy I said "I'm going to strictly breastfeed, no formula, no bottles!" Eli latched on no problem after he was born. "He's a natural!" One of the nurses said. Yeah right. I nursed for 4 months. 4 long months, lots of tears, frustrations, questions and finally I gave up. I didn't know where to turn to help. My dr. told me to look into a few books by the La Leche League, but no doctor, nurse or instructor from my prenatal class mentioned where I could see a lactation consultant, or weather it was free., or where I could find some support. So I continued to nursing in my own shame. "Why can't we do this, Eli!? It shouldn't be this hard!!"
Our issue(s)? Most of all I had too much milk, and an overactive let down. He'd latch on, start to eat happily, take a huge gulp, start choking and refuse to go back on. At first I thought he was just really hungry. He nursed like I was going to take it away from him, but I quickly realized that he couldn't control the amount he was taking in. I suppose I would refuse to eat too if something was poainful and not enjoyable. He also struggled to latch on. Eli is a fussy eater, plain and simple. Distracted.
Everyone has their own 2 cents on how your supposed to do something, weather its feeding, parenting, sleep training, what toys or books to have, etc... and often times they have no problem telling you what they think. Clearly the feeding and nursing issues was a sore subject and I had someone tell me what their thoughts on how I fed my son. Two words to describe how I felt. Shattered, and GUILTY. I tried pumping and bottle feeding for a while but it got to be too much, and I couldn't keep up.
One of the reasons I bring this up is because breastfeeding is supposed to help your baby not get sick as often. If you've kept up on my blog you'll know that Eli has been sick alot in his short life. 4-5 colds, and 2 ear infections in 8 months! And finally today (a week after he's been off his antibiotics, and the cold was finally gone.) his runny nose and cough is back. I'm at my wits end, and I'm doing everything in my power to hold it together. We use nasal spray before every nap, every bottle, and bedtime. And as of lately he's been waking up at 5a.m because he cant breath through his nose. When he crawls his mouth is always open. Mom mentioned that possibly he has breathing issues, and I didnt notice or think of it (always putting it off as "just a cold.") until she mentioned it. Then this morning as I was talking to a close friend she said that she had noticed his breathing issues, and also had a sneaking suspicion as my mom did.
When I was younger I had to have my adenoids removed. For those of you who dont know what they are, they're glands that help protect us from getting sick. Because they trap bacteria they can get swollen when they try to fight infection. They can become so overwhelmed by bacteria invasion that they become infected themselves. Thus causing a runny nose, ear problems, snoring at night (which babies should not have!), sore throat, trouble swallowing, and swollen glands in the neck. Eli has most of those issues.
I automatically blame myself for not breastfeeding longer. "If only I had breastfed longer, maybe he wouldn't be sick all the time." I know that thats not true, however its hard not to think it and automatically the GUILT comes flying back. Clearly thats my own issue, but its hard not to think about.
We have Eli's 9 month check up with his pediatrician next week, and I'm going to request that we get refered to an ear,nose, and throat specialist to figure out the problem. I'll keep you posted on what he says, but for today thats my emotional rant.
When you have a baby nurses, doctors, midwives, doulas, etc. tell you how important it is to breastfeed. All the pro's and barely no cons. Its easy! If you have breasts then you can breastfeed! Throughout my pregnancy I said "I'm going to strictly breastfeed, no formula, no bottles!" Eli latched on no problem after he was born. "He's a natural!" One of the nurses said. Yeah right. I nursed for 4 months. 4 long months, lots of tears, frustrations, questions and finally I gave up. I didn't know where to turn to help. My dr. told me to look into a few books by the La Leche League, but no doctor, nurse or instructor from my prenatal class mentioned where I could see a lactation consultant, or weather it was free., or where I could find some support. So I continued to nursing in my own shame. "Why can't we do this, Eli!? It shouldn't be this hard!!"
Our issue(s)? Most of all I had too much milk, and an overactive let down. He'd latch on, start to eat happily, take a huge gulp, start choking and refuse to go back on. At first I thought he was just really hungry. He nursed like I was going to take it away from him, but I quickly realized that he couldn't control the amount he was taking in. I suppose I would refuse to eat too if something was poainful and not enjoyable. He also struggled to latch on. Eli is a fussy eater, plain and simple. Distracted.
Everyone has their own 2 cents on how your supposed to do something, weather its feeding, parenting, sleep training, what toys or books to have, etc... and often times they have no problem telling you what they think. Clearly the feeding and nursing issues was a sore subject and I had someone tell me what their thoughts on how I fed my son. Two words to describe how I felt. Shattered, and GUILTY. I tried pumping and bottle feeding for a while but it got to be too much, and I couldn't keep up.
One of the reasons I bring this up is because breastfeeding is supposed to help your baby not get sick as often. If you've kept up on my blog you'll know that Eli has been sick alot in his short life. 4-5 colds, and 2 ear infections in 8 months! And finally today (a week after he's been off his antibiotics, and the cold was finally gone.) his runny nose and cough is back. I'm at my wits end, and I'm doing everything in my power to hold it together. We use nasal spray before every nap, every bottle, and bedtime. And as of lately he's been waking up at 5a.m because he cant breath through his nose. When he crawls his mouth is always open. Mom mentioned that possibly he has breathing issues, and I didnt notice or think of it (always putting it off as "just a cold.") until she mentioned it. Then this morning as I was talking to a close friend she said that she had noticed his breathing issues, and also had a sneaking suspicion as my mom did.
When I was younger I had to have my adenoids removed. For those of you who dont know what they are, they're glands that help protect us from getting sick. Because they trap bacteria they can get swollen when they try to fight infection. They can become so overwhelmed by bacteria invasion that they become infected themselves. Thus causing a runny nose, ear problems, snoring at night (which babies should not have!), sore throat, trouble swallowing, and swollen glands in the neck. Eli has most of those issues.
I automatically blame myself for not breastfeeding longer. "If only I had breastfed longer, maybe he wouldn't be sick all the time." I know that thats not true, however its hard not to think it and automatically the GUILT comes flying back. Clearly thats my own issue, but its hard not to think about.
We have Eli's 9 month check up with his pediatrician next week, and I'm going to request that we get refered to an ear,nose, and throat specialist to figure out the problem. I'll keep you posted on what he says, but for today thats my emotional rant.
Thursday, February 25, 2010
A busy day . . .
Dad called this morning. He came in for a page in first thing this morning and didnt end up staying very long. So he came by for some coffee! He ended up hanging out for close to 2 hours. It was nice to have some company in the morning. We had breakfast together (oatmeal and a cup of coffee) and then he helped me do the dishes and tidy the kitchen up, which I appreciate so much! I love my Dad soooo much! What a blessing!
Today Eli and I could potentially have a busy day. You know the days when you could do some errands but nothing that is pressing to the point where it has to be done? One of those days, however I'm feeling like I have the drive to go out and do a few errands so I might as well! He's been down for a nap for an hour and half, and I'm hoping he'll sleep another half hour.
Andy starts his 3rd session of school on Monday. He is almost done his apprenticeship and we're so excited! Monday will be tight but we've been saving for awhile. And as I mentioned before I know God will take care of us, and financially we'll be okay! We'll have to obviously live on a tighter budget but we can do it. My maternity leave is done in 13 weeks which means my EI is also up. This is going to be a stressfull time but I'am so confident that we'll manage! A friend actually told me about income support for apprentices' so I'm off to pick up a form for it today! Its a very in depth application, as in you have to write in every little detail when it comes to how you live. Mortgage payment, cell phone bills, living expenses, groceries, clothes, haircuts, gas, insurance, etc . . . and apparently there is a booklet that goes along with it, and the lady I spoke to about the application said to read it very carefully. The more information the better. Lord willing we will qualify for this, but we'll see. It takes 4-6 weeks to be processed.
Also, one thing I'm very excited about. I came across an edmonton childrens magazine, and they had some support information in it. One place they talked about is actually in Sherwood Park, and get this its on my street!! We've driven past it everyday and I always wonder what the place is. Its called Parents' Place Association of Sherwood Park. They have breastfeeding support, birthing classes, postpartum support, and the list goes on. These courses may not apply to me directly but my thoughts are there may be a chance I could get involved and have some of my hands on doula training hours done with an organization like this! There is also an organization called Terra Association. I'm sure some of you have heard of this association. They serve pregnant and parenting teens. They're also looking for birth support volunteers! Seems like the doors are openning in all the right places. How blessed am I!
Mandi thanks for the comment you left yesterday! It was awesome to read, and its so true to be excited about something that you feel passionate about! Cant wait to see how you put your interior design skills to work!!
Today Eli and I could potentially have a busy day. You know the days when you could do some errands but nothing that is pressing to the point where it has to be done? One of those days, however I'm feeling like I have the drive to go out and do a few errands so I might as well! He's been down for a nap for an hour and half, and I'm hoping he'll sleep another half hour.
Andy starts his 3rd session of school on Monday. He is almost done his apprenticeship and we're so excited! Monday will be tight but we've been saving for awhile. And as I mentioned before I know God will take care of us, and financially we'll be okay! We'll have to obviously live on a tighter budget but we can do it. My maternity leave is done in 13 weeks which means my EI is also up. This is going to be a stressfull time but I'am so confident that we'll manage! A friend actually told me about income support for apprentices' so I'm off to pick up a form for it today! Its a very in depth application, as in you have to write in every little detail when it comes to how you live. Mortgage payment, cell phone bills, living expenses, groceries, clothes, haircuts, gas, insurance, etc . . . and apparently there is a booklet that goes along with it, and the lady I spoke to about the application said to read it very carefully. The more information the better. Lord willing we will qualify for this, but we'll see. It takes 4-6 weeks to be processed.
Also, one thing I'm very excited about. I came across an edmonton childrens magazine, and they had some support information in it. One place they talked about is actually in Sherwood Park, and get this its on my street!! We've driven past it everyday and I always wonder what the place is. Its called Parents' Place Association of Sherwood Park. They have breastfeeding support, birthing classes, postpartum support, and the list goes on. These courses may not apply to me directly but my thoughts are there may be a chance I could get involved and have some of my hands on doula training hours done with an organization like this! There is also an organization called Terra Association. I'm sure some of you have heard of this association. They serve pregnant and parenting teens. They're also looking for birth support volunteers! Seems like the doors are openning in all the right places. How blessed am I!
Mandi thanks for the comment you left yesterday! It was awesome to read, and its so true to be excited about something that you feel passionate about! Cant wait to see how you put your interior design skills to work!!
Wednesday, February 24, 2010
Wednesdays
I love Wednesdays! Its half way through the week which is great! But on Wednesdays we go to Heartland church and do bible study! They have child care and Eli loves it! So for 2 hours in the morning I get to sit and talk with other woman without a baby! We get home around 11:30a.m, and Eli is ready for his nap. Usually he'll sleep for 2 hours! So not only do I have the morning to myself but all he wants to do when we get home is sleep! Its great!
The women that I've built awesome relationships with at Heart 2 Heart are incredible! They're older than me, and their kids are a year or more older than Eli but I feel like they're willing to give any advice when I ask, and they are such an incredible support system! I wasn't sure at the beginning of H2H how it would work out, but I'am so blessed by these ladies! AND I have to mention the number of women that are pregnant at H2H is incredible! I think there are more pregnant woman than not! One Wednesday I looked around and I could count 8 pregnant ladies and that was just that I knew of! Insane! Which brings me to my next thing . . .
No I'm not pregnant, dont even think it!! After I had Eli I was blown away by how helpful the nurses were that supported me! I have grown this passion for pregnant ladies, and I just want to help in some way. Being a nurse is not an option as I would have to upgrade a ton. The fact of being responsible for someones life as well (administering drugs, etc) makes me nervous BUT what about being a Doula?? For those of you who dont know what a doula is it is a support person, and someone who assists during birth!
I've found an online training website that looks awesome! The website is: childbirthinternational.com I've compared this training to other schools/courses and I feel this is the best one for me! I've done alot of research and talked to alot of moms about their experiences with their doula and I am beyond excited to do this! I'am going to take 3 courses: Birth Doula, Postpartum Doula, and breastfeeding counsellor course! I have up to 3 years to complete these courses, so I can do it at my own pace! I feel so excited, and everytime I see a pregnant woman, a baby, or a mother nursing her baby I feel like there is something inside me that ignites!
Growing up I've always wanted to be a mom and a wife. My mat leave is up on May 15th, and Andy and I have decided that we're going to do what we have to do in order for me to stay home with Eli. I feel this is the most important job that I can have at this point in our lives! Now that I'm a wife and a mom I feel like becoming a doula and supporting other wives, moms, possibly young teens is something I'm being called to do! I'm not sure when I'll start my courses, maybe once we have the money saved up but I cant wait!!
Once I start my training I will also need a number of hours of hands on work, so that means attending births, postpartum work, aswell as breastfeeding counselling... weather that be through e-mail, phone, and face to face it all counts! If you know of anyone who might be interested in helping me out I would really appreciate it! Please give them my e-mail address: Karlaandandy@hotmail.com
Sunday, February 21, 2010
Church Shopping
These boys have my heart! I love just spending time the 3 of us. Eli is so much fun, and he loves playing with his Dad! This weekend has been a good weekend. Friday night I had a tea party, and it was great to have a bunch of women over, drink tea, and chat! It gave me a good excuse to clean my house very well!
Saturday as I said in my last post Katherine got baptised. We went to Summerside church to see it all happen, and it was really nice to be there! Summerside Church has been the church that I can say we grew up in, and we've built alot of strong relationships. For the most part I know probably 75% of the people there, and it feels good to walk in and see all the smiling people. Because Andy and I are "Church Shopping" I sometimes struggle because every church is compared to the church that in a way has my heart! At Summerside growing up I was involved in worship, as well as Quest the dance team, and the relationships that I built growing up with other youth stick. We've all grown up so fast however when it comes down to it I can walk up to some people and its like nothing has ever changed. I like that. So when trying out new churches its tough because I tend to be critical. The worships not the same, the relationships aren't the same and the list goes on. So Yesterday at the service it was really neat to be there. Its incredible the amount of support and encouragement Katherine has. One thing that I really like about Summerside is that they have a time of sharing. Basically its an open microphone time. Anyone can get up and say whats on their heart, what Gods doing in their life, struggles, prayer requests, etc. This is something that I have grown up with and I miss not having it at other Churches. When Pastor Tom said there'd be a time of sharing I felt a gentle nudge that I was supposed to say something. But what? And then it came to me. God's faithfulness! This past year hasn't been easy for us. We found out I was pregnant, found a place to rent, and that fell through the day we were supposed to move in. Bought a house in Sherwood Park, had a baby, Andy got laid off . . . it was not at all what we expected. Through all of it though God's faithfulness has never waved. Andy was without a job for 2-3 weeks and our finances did not even feel a hiccup. We know this is where we're supposed to be living, and God just continues to confirm that to us! It blows my mind that God is so faithful even financially!
Sunday. We got up this morning and went to Heartland Church. I go to heartland on wednesday mornings for their bible/book study. They have child care, and we are really liking it. They have 3 services in a weekend so its nice to be able to choose which one works with our weekend. Generally we do the 9:15 weekend. We put Eli in childcare and can enjoy the service. If he needs us they have a small box at the front of the church on the wall that will flash a number. Our number for him is 121. We haven't had him need us yet, which feels really great! He loves to play there! So now we just need to build relationships, which is the hardest part. I've met some great women, but its also important for Andy to have relationships too, and in a church so large and established its not easy to be new! So far I'm content going to Heartland but I'd like to shop around a bit more. We'd like something in Sherwood Park, its just so easy and close.
This evening we're headed out to Andy's moms place for supper. We were supposed to get together last weekend on Family day but with Eli being so sick we changed it to this weekend. Back to a 5 day week this week, but I think it should be good. We have a few play dates and things to do.
To finish off, I'd like to share a verse with you guys! It speaks clear to me.
Isaiah 66:13- As a Mother comforts her child, so will I comfort you.
Also, no one has left any comments on any of my posts. I have tried to get it so the comment button is there, but I dont see it. To leave a comment, I think you have to click on the post and a comment box would pull up! I'd love to hear any comments, and know that there are some of you out there!! Thanks!!
Friday, February 19, 2010
Tim Hortons & Family
This past week I saw this commercial, and it brought tears to my eyes. Maybe its just me being hormonal but I thought it was pretty neat!http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5NQaWk_GTNc
This weekend will be busy for us, but I'm excited! Tonight I'm having a tea party! Tomorrow my little sister who is not so little anymore is getting baptised! She has grown up so much, I cant believe it! I remember when Kristin and I used to carry Katherine around like she was our little dolly. Katherine hated it, but Kristin and I didnt care. When your a little girl having a real live baby to play dolly with is the most exciting thing ever! What a blessing!
This weekend will be busy for us, but I'm excited! Tonight I'm having a tea party! Tomorrow my little sister who is not so little anymore is getting baptised! She has grown up so much, I cant believe it! I remember when Kristin and I used to carry Katherine around like she was our little dolly. Katherine hated it, but Kristin and I didnt care. When your a little girl having a real live baby to play dolly with is the most exciting thing ever! What a blessing!
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