Sunday, August 26, 2012

3 weeks

Life has been busy, obviously by the lack of blogging that Ive been doing. Judah is 3 weeks old, and life is finally starting to feel normal. Eli is doing so well with Judah, this past week was easier than the one before, and I feel like our days are starting to get a bit of routine. At least the mornings are.

Last week I headed off to the breastfeeding clinic to get some help with a few issues. I have an overactive letdown, so Judah gets drowned in milk. When he nurses he chokes and gags on the milk, and takes in so much air. It breaks my heart because I can hear the air going down into his tummy, and he pulls off and just screams! Its extremely hard, and theres really nothing I can do about it except wait it out. It should get better as he gets bigger, hopefully around 3 months it should even out. This is discouraging since he's only 3 weeks, but I continue to tough it out. Im thankful that if need be I can go back to the clinic anytime to get help.

Sleep wise, Im exhausted. For the most part Judah is waking up every 2 hours. I got a taste though of a 3 hour stretch & a 4 hour stretch, which felt incredible... but going back to 2 hour stretches is really hard. I continue to tell myself though this is only temporary, and there will be an end in sight when I eventually get to sleep again.

Things are starting to feel somewhat normal, which Im thankful for, and Im also thankful that Eli is loving his brother so much. Today he wanted to pull Judah around in his wagon outside. It warms my heart!!

All in all things are good, theres a quick update for you.

Wednesday, August 15, 2012

11 Days Gone By

Its  been 11 days since we had baby Judah. Its true when people say that it goes by so fast, it does!! I cant believe its been 11 days already... but this newborn stage is hard, and I feel like my life is also dragging on. Especially the nights! Oh the wonderful nights!!

Andy went back to work this week, and I didnt know how it was going to be adjusting to 2 by myself. Im not going to lie, its been hard but I feel like Im managing. Maybe ask me at the end of the week how we're all doing though. Eli has done really really well adjusting to having Judah around. He wants to give him lots of hugs and kisses, and other than me not being able to get up and do something for him right at the moment he is doing great!!

Judah was weighed on Friday and actually put weight on. 9 lbs 11 oz. He was 9lbs 9 oz at birth... so I have to be doing something right when it comes to breastfeeding. Thats another story though. We're having some issues, and Im not surprised but i had the same issues with Eli. Too much milk, and an overactive let down. Makes for a whole lot of milk for a little baby and he ends up choking and gasping as soon as he nurses. Also means he is really gassy, and pulls off my breast multiple times throughout a nursing session and doesn't want to go back on. Its extremely stressful, but we're working through it, and Im hopefully getting some help from the breastfeeding clinic next week sometime.

Sleep wise... well whats sleep, really? Its over rated right? Judah is usually doing stretches of 2-3 hours, but sometimes less. Last night I was up almost every hour, but I think the issue is he falls asleep on my breast before he's fully full and then wakes up an hour later hungry. I find this really hard to also get a handle on, however I know it will continue to get easier... its only for a short time that we'll be sleep deprived. For the first few days he was sleeping in our room, and Andy was downstairs. No point in both of us being exhausted, however now Judah is out of our room and Andy is back. Judah is one noisy sleeper. Ask anyone who has met him already, and they'll tell you that he is grunty, and loud when he sleeps. Im a light sleeper, and so anytime I hear his little noises I assumed he was waking up, but nope, he's asleep! Kind of frustrating, but what do you do? So now he is in his room in his crib. Yes this means I have to get up to walk down the hall to his room, but it sure is nice when I get back to bed and it quiet, and I have the bed to just me and my husband.

We had some newborn/family pictures done on Sunday, and Im so excited about them. The photographer sent us a few sneak peeks, and they're beautiful! I cant wait to see the rest.

All in all things are good. We are trying to get into a routine, and so far I've been out every day with both kids, sometimes with help from my mom or sister, or sometimes not. As long as I time it right with Judah's feeding we're good to go. Im having trouble not feeling guilty about not being able to play with Eli as much or spend as much time with him because Im spending so much time on the couch feeding the baby. I know though that this will pass, and also get easier. Just a matter of time, but for right now I miss spending that one on one time with Eli so much!

Anyways thats a quick update of how our lives are going with a new baby. I know soon it should start to feel somewhat normal, and I cant wait for that.

Here are some pictures!! Enjoy!!

Oh also!! I had my orthodontist appointment this morning, and the braces are ready to come off!! Yess!!! I have an appointment in 3.5 weeks to go in and have them off! Now to find a sitter to watch both boys, and lets home that Judah will take a bottle at that point if need be!! At any rate, I cant wait to have them off!

Monday, August 6, 2012

Baby Judah - Birth Story

This is going to be as quick as possible.

We have a baby!! I felt like he would never be born, and yes our dear baby did come out a boy. He was born on Saturday morning (August 4th) at 10:16am all natural in our home. His weight at birth was 9 lbs 9 oz.

I went into labor on Friday afternoon, but started having contractions on Friday morning. I remember mentioning to my friend I thought maybe there was something to them, but didnt really think about it too much. Around 4pm, I was having regular contractions, and thought this might be it. Andy took Eli to sesame street on Friday night, and I went out with my sisters and my mom. While we were our for dinner I continued to have contractions, and my sister told me that I was in denial, and for sure I was in labor. Yes I was in denial and in labor. I called our midwife around 9pm, to let her know what was happening and asked her if she thought it was the real deal. Lets remember here, I had been having contractions for the last 2 weeks off and on, so the tease of them made me doubt it was possible that we were in fact having a baby. She said she thought this could be it. I should also mention I didn't end up going back to see her to have her strip my membranes, or take any herbal mixture. We decided to wait and see what happens. Im glad I did, and I trusted my body to do what it needed to do!

My mom decided to take Eli home with her on Friday night in case this was the real deal, and boy am I glad she did. Originally we had discussed just having someone come and hang out with him while I was in labor. I couldn't imagine how traumatized he would've been had he hung out at home with either my mom or my MIL.

Around 11pm, I went to bed and kept waking up every half hour with a contraction. They had slowed down at this point, and again I was in denial. At 3:30am I finally went downstairs and watched Say Yes to the Dress, and my contractions were about a minute long and every 3-4 minutes, depending on the contraction. At 5am, I couldnt focus by myself anymore so I went and woke Andy. I took a bath and he sat in the bathroom with me, while I labored and cried as I was feeling pretty emotional. We had been in contact with our doula, and gave her the heads up.

Finally at 7am, we called her to tell her we needed her to come over, and also got in contact with our photographer. Both arrived shortly, and I continued to labor, but I was in excruciating pain! Nothing could've prepared me for the contractions.

By 7:30-8:00amish I had a few contractions that were long, and barely any time in between. Our doula said that if it happened again we should contact Cathy and let her know, because we could be getting close. Andy and our doula started filling the tub, and I finally was able to get in it. It felt great. Cathy arrived around 8:30-9ish (its all a blur) and I remember looking at the clock thinking how much longer can I do this for? I told her I couldn't do it any longer.

Cathy started setting all of her stuff up, which was a lot, and as I continued to labor Cathy came over and encouraged me. Just having her there made me feel better. She mentioned that I sounded like I was pushy, and I agreed that yes I was. She told me how to breath and continue on with the contractions. She then called the back up midwife to come.

I started pushing, and screaming, yes screaming my head off at the pain. I felt so out of control, and like it needed to be over. But Cathy continued to coach me and encourage me. The baby's heart rate was doing really well, and at one point I remember reaching down in the water and feeling his head and his hair swaying in the water. That was almost a taste of encouragement!

At that point, I continued to push but he wouldn't budge. Cathy had me get out of the tub and lay on my back to push, and he still wouldn't move, so we then turned on all fours to push. His shoulder was stuck which is called shoulder dystocia, and she basically had to reach in and pull him out. Can you say ouch?? He was born at 10:16am, however things got a little scary at that point.

Although his heart rate was really good, he wasn't breathing on his own. Cathy put the mask on him and breathed for him, and after 4 minutes he finally started breathing on his own. At this point, an ambulance had already been called and they were on their way. We decided to transfer just to make sure everything was fine. We arrived at the Stollery Hospital and a huge team greeted us to check him over, he was doing good at this point and there were no concerns.

All in all, Im so glad we had a home birth, and the shoulder dystocia is something that would've happened home or hospital! Cathy handled it so well, and Im so blessed that she took and continues to take such good care of us.

Ill write more soon, but I have a baby who needs to be fed, which BTW someone is nursing like a champ and is willing to latch in any position he can get! Im so blessed by this!!

Here are a few pictures!!

Thursday, August 2, 2012

Sesame Street

Andy came home from work last week and informed me that Sesame Street is doing a show this weekend. We toyed with the idea of getting tickets, but hadn't yet because we didnt know what things were going to be looking like come this week. This afternoon I bought 2 tickets for Sesame Street. Andy will take Eli and I get an evening to myself... as long as a baby doesn't come in the next 24 hours. I held off on telling Eli until Andy got home, and when we did tell him he was so excited! A date night with Dad at Sesame Street!

I love the fact that Andy is such a good dad and husband. The fact that he is willingly (and it was his idea too!!) taking his 3 year old to Sesame Street just the 2 of them, I think is so special! I hope Eli loves it... and in the mean time Im trying to figure out what I should do with a night to myself!! Just watch, Im sure the baby will decide to make its way tomorrow just because. In that case either my mom or MIL gets the joy of taking Eli out on a date! Lucky them!!

Wednesday, August 1, 2012

Sweep & Non Stress Test

This morning my mom popped by to look after Eli for an hour while I went and met with Cathy again. I decided I wanted to have her attempt to sweep my membranes. She was able to do a partial sweep she said as my cervix is quite high. I had my membranes swept with Eli and I dont remember it being that painful. I suppose I asked for it. She said that my cervix is very soft, quite high, posterior and dilated about 2 cm's. My body is doing something, which I had a few signs of this morning before my sweep which I wont go into detail, but it wasn't my water breaking it was something else... that kind of has a gross name being lost... TMI?

We definitely had a great chat, and I really appreciate her wisdom. She has so much knowledge and wisdom! I know there are people out there who are following our journey as we wait for a baby who think that Im crazy for going this far over due, or having a home birth or midwifery care. I think what bothers me more than anything is that fact that if I went up to a woman who was having a hospital birth or was being induced at 40 weeks + 2 days, and question her choices she's making and was baffled by her decisions I would look like the snob. But since Im choosing to have a very hands off, non medicalized pregnancy and labor & delivery, its apparently fair game to question or state opinions. So many people have said to me "Oh a home birth!? Your so brave, what if something goes wrong?!" And I feel like screaming, "Oh a hospital birth? Your being induced!? What if something goes wrong?!" Its just extremely frustrating. There are countries in the world where dr's are not allowed to deliver, only midwives! k thats my rant for now.

Anyway, our plan of action at this point is to wait until Friday & if no baby has arrived then I will go back, she'll do another membrane sweep, and then also give me a herbal mixture which could help put me into labor. Like a natural induction. Then we continue to wait.

I went to the Lois Hole Hospital this afternoon for my Non stress Test. Our dear baby did beautifully!! He was moving and his heart rate looked incredible! Very healthy and appeared to be happy. Cathy had said I probably wouldn't speak to an obstetrician today, but I actually did end up getting to talk with one, who had a very open mind about midwifery care, and how he believes dr's induce too quickly. He said at this point going from my LMP (last menstrual period) Iam part of the 4% of women who are post dated. But he also told me about studies with women who went past 42 weeks, and their babies came out happy and healthy! It was also great because he checked to see if there was an ultrasound room available, popped me in, and took a look at my fluid levels & placenta quickly. He said as long as there is a pocket of fluid 3cm's, thats great. There was... actually there was a pocket of fluid that was about 5 cm's... more than enough fluid he said. He mentioned the placenta looked older, and I asked if that was a concern. He said no, my baby is older, so that makes sense. Apparently if my placenta looked like a rock, he'd be concerned, but he said everything looked well. I really appreciated him quickly doing that to make sure fluid levels and placenta was fine! He said he had no concerns, and to continue on waiting. Im going back on Saturday if we still dont have a baby for another NST (non stress test) to make sure all is well again.

Last night we met with our back up doula, and after meeting with her I feel much better, and not so anxious. She was easy to talk to, and just had a home birth not too long actually. So we'll see what happens. Im very confident she'll be great. We also ended up setting up the tub in our dining room, so its ready to go. Im hoping maybe having it set up will bring on labor, but at this point Im not sure of anything! It makes me feel comfortable though, and like Im way more ready to do this.

Alot of people keep commenting on how I must be so uncomfortable and how I must just want to be done with being pregnant. And while Im tired of my feet being swollen, and feeling heavy and like I cant bend over (oh wait I cant!!) Im enjoying this pregnancy at this point. I cant complain, and I feel blessed that we've had some extra time as a family of 3, and with Eli. It really has been a blessing!
So here is another weekly picture, and also a picture of our dining room/kitchen!!